What what??

Been a few days, was the weekend so things were busy. Ive been failing horribly past few days.....im fed up. im done. I'm done screwing around. theres no excuse for me to be losing anymore!!!!
im getting back on track.
been purging alot more lately when i have too but basically just been restricting hard.
weighed this am, not up but the same=fail
Havent eaten all day, been having coffee and tea
omg talk about tea i baught "diet tea" yesterday.
its basically a laxative tea, ive had it before, it says ease into it....did I listen? lol nope had 2 cups on the first day extremely strong. it works FAB but holy shit.....no pun intended....im pretty sure i have no insides left. the cramps HURT SO BADD lol im just gonna have a cup after supper, then see how my body reacts haha ouch.
got kinda bitched out yesterday by the other half, I think i hide well and we dont talk much about it. he saw that i got the tea n he knew what its for, basically told me he doesnt wanna go thru all that "shit" again, he knows im losing weight cuz i had a baby 6 months ago. so im trying to lose baby weight etc and get back to where i was pre babies. he says i have ( which is a lie cuz i still gotta at least lose 20lbs) at LEAST! he doesnt know my actual goal weight. but just because im tyring to get lean and lose baby fatt he thinks automatically it will go bad. i hate it. i feel this time i know what to expect and how to handle things better. this has nothing to do with him so i hate when he makes excuses to bitch at me
i got rid of the tea box n keptthe bags tho ( ;) thanks CJ)
i guess im not going to be saying anything about weight loss etc so the topic wont come up.
I kinda told him i wannted to be skinny again..,....oops
well now ive learned lol
went outside today with the kids cause it was so warm. thought fresh air and shovelling to burn cals would help. Strapped the baby too me adding some resistance! I shoveled our snow and our neighbours!! phew was fun and a workout!! the next time i find dog shit in my yard tho from dogs people just let roam around im gonna fucking LOSE it!!
Im addicted to thinspo right now
good thinspo
hmm i always know what to write when i dont have time to blog
then my mind stops

Cj: im excited for your new found freedom!!! i cant wait to read your whole essay, and excited to make it til friday!! stay strong