Friday, April 1, 2011

April's Showers-edited

Will bring me May flowers.
I'm excited April is here, I'm so sick of the snow and the gray and the brown. I miss the blue sky, it's absence has darkened my heart. Yesterday was so sunny warm blue sky, it gave me new hope, a new outlook.
April will be my month, the month I snap back and lose and prepare for summer. I can't set back myself any longer and I won't do that to myself anymore.
I finally didn't binge last night i cant remember the last time I didn't binge....gross....all I had yesterday was a 35 cal yogurt.
This is deffo not an april fools joke lol damn kids and there SHINANIGANS oh....wait....I like shinanigans hahaha
I weighed this morn........128.......
I know it's bad but I have to start somewhere.

Today is Friday, I hope something interesting happens today, I'm hoping so.
My birthday is beginning of May.
I decided my gift to myself will be the gift of being thin.
I want to lose alot, but I don't want to set an unreasonable goal so for now I'll just go with it.
It will be the greatest gift ever, I will stay strong.
I appreciate all your comments, life lately is kicking my ass and I'm so lost not knowing what direction to go in or what to do. This is the only place I can collect myself my thoughts and not be judged.
I;m SO greatful and blessed for my friends.
I'd be nothing without you
I wish things were different
Maybe change is for the best?
more later
love you guys
xoxoxox
Niks

You thought u saw the last of me today eh? muhahahaha suckaaaaas
one of my boys came over just as i had gotten the girls ready to head up to the mall cuz its to nice to stay inside and he smoked a fatty with me <3 love HIM LOVE then went to the mall, say ironically in the food court but my oldest ate i had coffee n people watched haha
window shopped, nothing really grabbed me but i didnt wander into stores to much cuz then i woulda spent money, it was nice getting out and walking around
woohoo exercise that isnt torture.
today ive eaten a yogurt-35cals
5 almonds prob 50 calsish
chicken grilled and vaggies
250 or less
I needd to eat or i crazy binge so i will eat small healthy things to prevent binges. i feel better already today from not binging, it gives me hope that i can lose the rest of this mess
bahah
oh and hubby wants to come with me to the concery now!? yah either way im stoked to go.
weezy blunts and bitches hahaha
i hope im down tomorrow :)
I got my music downloader working again woop free music, well not free but cheaper bahaha
hah well this edit was lame
hahaha my bad bitches
i hope you all have an amazing weekend.
Madd love from your mother monster
Nikki


4 comments:

  1. I'm excited for the blue skies too. :)
    It's good that you are looking forward to this new month. I know you can make it great. Just remember, you might slip up every now and then but you just have to remember that it's okay. Just brush yourself off and start again. Good luck on your weight loss.
    Happy April!

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  2. i already have blue skys na na na na na! hehe only because im on the other side of the world(:

    good luck for this month sweetie(:
    x

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  3. if you want to give me your address, i'd love to send you some art.

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  4. You and I will do it together! :D 10 pounds - two months. Reasonable. :) Text me! 216-316-0505 =3

    Have fun at the concert! DANCE for me!

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