Hey
I honestly have nothing to say for myself other than failure.
total and utterly completely failed myself and others.
I'll try not to loathe myself to much in this post.......
Things lately haven't been to too bad....the weather has been alot nicer and it actually feels like spring. spring clothes blue skies.
It's an anti depressant at it's best, I felt great, cute clotbhes.
But i failed my goal bad, I havent weighed cause im to terrified to and my expectations of myself are way to high and I dont need another disapointment..
My clothes feel ok but thats not good enough, if I kmeep binging they won't ack and my birthday and summer omg......anxiety builds in me like fire feeds off of air
Luckily I have pills for that, If i take more than I should I get high
*insert smirky face here*
I wish I could be numb and high all the time
On a totally unrelated Ana note......my hubby m,ay be getting a new job up north.
As in will be working 2 weeks on 1 week home or whatever but the money would almost double and were looking at buying a new place as soon as we can out of the city :D
Probably end of this year.
But were so excited, a change is needed so so soooo badly, and maybe we wouldnt wanna kill each other if hes noit home 24/7
my dad would be getting him the job.
I hope it doesnt fall through.......because ive been thinking if it does, then what? things cant stay the way they are anymore.
I'm scared he's gonna fail his drug test, hes quit smoking and it going to do a detox but he is HELLA bitchy cause we smoke so much. we just picked up like 2 nights ago so its not like we dont have much left anhyways.
and i depend on smoking really bad, sorry hubby but im gonna smoke until this is gone. hes not too impressed about it, but i dont care, and he needs to stop taking out his withdrawls on me, or im gonna lose my shit.......again.....yea.
It doesnt even feel like friday, but i got gum boots yesterday hahaha yea their pink camo gum boots from the kids section at superstore, i refuse to go for walks in mud in my fly skate shoes with hot pink laces so yah gum boots bitches haha
again i say i will post pics asap i just need to upload them maybe ill do that today cause im a hermit fat and depressed but it's friday i should be happy?
hahaha happy whats that? oh yah sorry i forgot
I MISS ALL OF YOU
glitch that dress is BITCHING your so hot
Cj i love you my french hussy
As hope your well
unbeautiful your SO beautiful
i always forget people
GABBY i miss u and your posts
I can fly n shit..........art you say??? interest me more?
gracey your so sweet i hope your well too
if i missed you bitch at me and ill make it up to you haha
uhm
I hope today is ok, it's friday i dont wanna mope all day but im to ashamed to go out haha fuck me
have a great weekend
stay strong
Nikki
French hussy, I love it.
ReplyDeleteAlmost as much as I love you.
But if you move out of town, how will I see you when I'm finally up there? *insert crazy crying face* I'm really glad you two are working things out though <3
It's not far, maybe 20 min outside the city <3 no worries lover
ReplyDeleteDon't stress the eating. Take it a meal at a time. Maybe exercise more? Drink more water for sure. You can do it.
ReplyDeleteI hope the job comes through for your husband.
And thanks for your comment to me. It really did make me smile. :)
Mail art, yes!
ReplyDeletedid you give me your address, if you did i lost it.
Post it or your email in my comments, i'd love to send you something!
Tell your husband to be nice or i'll use my super death ray on his favorite pair of work boots. ;-)