Nikki's Notes

It's been a while since ive been on here

things lately have been ok with hubby etc i seem to be happier in a way?

i dont know though, ive gained a "few" lbs and im sick of it

sick of binging, but I can't seem to stop

still defs discusted with myself. look where i was and now where iam

what the fuck happened you ask?

i wish i knew the answers to that.

im kinda basically just surviving

alone for 2 weeks so just me n the girlies

alot of work but im glad i have them :)

went out last night, got drunk off my ass, danced alot, met alot of sweet people and a few cutie pies!

damn...i havent been asked forr my digits in forever, felt nice cuz im fat

but i got hot mama and milf alot thru the night so yay ego boost

One of the guys i met i did give him my digits i know whore right?

he called me when i got home and we just bullshitted til we both passed out haha

 been texting a bit and i woke up from my hell of a hangover vomiting mess nap with a phone call from him :)

he wants to see me again and take me for dinner?

what?

sorry babes im married

really didnt change his mind though

he also has two daughters

sexy voice

fuck....i know im gonna have to get rid of him soon though.

as of right now though....nothing will happen but ill talk to him

then decide on that

i pretty much puked my entire insides out today tho

INvoluntary puking=not the same as purging

i think im done puking atol today so no binges

stupid fat whore bitch

what sorry

Another girl i was in the hospital with and kinda close too........

her life was taken far too soon from the world of eds

she was such a nice caring quiet talented artistic woman

so sweet. so loved

I dont know exactly what happened, either suicide or complications.

i know this is dumb to say but she didnt seem suicidal, but who ever really does?

this is #3 now

it really makes u think

it is all really worth it

i think it is

but then this happens n your always thinking maybe its not

i dont babbling for now.

i miss this community

i miss all of you n hope that your staying strong

its hard but worth it in the end

xoxo

Nikki